Confessions From The Closet

Should I be happy or pissed off?

So… Fancy talked to me. Actually said hi. And I managed to say ‘sup. And oh god, he waved at me and everything, and I couldn’t stop grinning all the way through my lesson, even though it looks like the pretty little Pollyanna boyfriend transferred. Yeah. Bushbrows himself.

Except they’re not dating. That was… pretty sweet, actually. Although they did say at that weird ass singing club it was just  matter of time.

Anyway. So I was in the club, and Bushbrows plops down next to me and starts chattering away like some little old woman, which wouldn’t be surprising looking at his cardigans. 

And then Fancy was singing. And god fucking damn, he has a voice on him. It’s just so low and mangy and ungf.

And then the stupid teacher had to shoot him down about how it wasn’t a musical or some shit that it wasn’t worth it. That it couldn’t be played at nationals so why bother. What. An. Ass. I thought this club was meant to be “yey happy funtime express yourself!!!1! ^W^” Instead it’s just another place to be eaten up and shat out. 

It was the look on his face. He just looked so… God, I can’t even describe it. It made my chest hurt just watching him. 

I don’t know why he goes. He’s too good for those dickheads anyway.

I hate being kinda small and shit. It really sucks. I mean, the only jackets they sell are for really short guys or really fat guys, and I’m neither of those. I’m not, like, super tall or super skinny, but people apparently think it’s ‘twinky’ or whatever the hell that means. 

Anyway, I like my jackets. They’re big and comfy and better than the tight-ass crap you get anywhere else. People can wear huge shirts that are falling off them, but I’m not allowed a big letterman?

Wtf?

So, I have a girlfriend. And before you go all hater on me and start bitching about how I’m lying to her and even if I don’t wanna be out I shouldn’t lie to her, trust me, I’ve told her I’m not interested in dating her about fourteen times, and we’ve never kissed or anything. She’s more like a girl who’s a friend, and likes dragging me places. I’m gonna call her Unicorn.

Anyway, so she was dragging me around the food court at the mall, and I go to find us seats, but when I come back she’s talking with him. Fancy himself. Of all the people she could have walked up to and started a conversation with, it just had to be him. And what did she say? That we were on a date.

… Seriously, why is it that everything’s biting me in the ass lately? I swear my life was normal before all this shit. I think it’s tumblr. Tumblr is full of drama. This is what people mean, right? That it turns your life into some weird train-wreck that’s oddly fascinating to watch, but humiliating afterwards?

I just had to grab her hand and haul her the hell out of there. And the worst part? I looked back, and there was potential boyfriend, Bushbrows himself, wearing a freaking bowtie in public. I’ve never worn a freaking tie in my life, let alone some fancy ass miniature gay version. Good to know that’s his type. 

Shopping sucks. 

On the plus side, Fancy actually said hi to me. Maybe next time I’ll be able to say ‘sup’ to him. Oh, and Unicorn finally worked out that I’m gay, and promises that we can just be super best dolphin friends forever. I knew she was smart.